If you’re taking this blog’s content to heart, you’re putting yourself out there and working on personal presence and confidence. Maybe you warm up your voice before you speak or your awareness of body language keeps you from shrinking into the furniture when leading a project team discussion.
You’re working on being seen, heard, and valued. You’re starting to get the attention you want and it feels great. There are more opportunities coming your way, and you feel like the work you are doing is starting to pay off.
You might even be starting to feel proud of your new confidence and the way you are presenting yourself. That’s a good thing, right?
It’s not quite a balance beam – but pretty darn close. And yes, this is me in my childhood glory.
Yes, it is and you should be proud! You’ve worked hard and you deserve to celebrate your success.
Growth in one area helps us to notice an imbalance in another area. Once we become aware that something isn’t in balance we can recalibrate as necessary.
Recently, I became aware of something I needed to get back into balance. For the most part, I feel pretty clear about my integrity, the values that I live by, and the qualities that are a part of my personality and character. Caring for others, being humble, and being of service are part of my purpose. I am not arrogant. I don’t put myself above others.
But recently, I did.
I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know I was doing it. But I felt like I did my best and I was proud of my confidence and the way I presented myself. I was practically high fiving myself.
With all my focus on being confident, seen and heard, I realized I had crossed the line to thinking too highly of myself. My speaking events were going well, but I had a vague sense that I wasn’t making as deep a connection with my audience. When I was leaning on the side of feeling important, or thinking that the increased attention I was receiving was about me, I was no longer putting my audience first. I wasn’t as committed to being of service to others.
I might have panicked and taken a huge step back from being solid in my own value because I wanted to reject this feeling of arrogance. But I didn’t. Instead, I owned it. I AM arrogant. I AM humble. I AM all of it!
For me, it’s a constant checking in with humility, integrity, and that deep commitment to being of service. I learn through practice, being around other incredible speakers, and continuing to put myself in situations where I need to be more present to and connected with my audience.
Recently, I gave a speech to a small group and right before I started, I realized I left my speaking notes at home. I knew my main points and jotted them down on a sheet of paper for peace of mind. It turned out to be the best speech I’ve given. My audience experienced what I was there to share and I was blown away by their insights in the short exercise I led them through. I balanced my confidence with compassion for my audience and the resulting energy and interaction made the event more impactful for them and for me.
As you continue to work on your speaking and communication skills, keep committing to mastery of your own presence. Check in with your increased confidence and remember your passion and what drives you.
In some cases, to believe in your ability to support another person through their challenges, and to be of service to them, you have to take that first assertive and even a little arrogant step out on the beam. As you make your way, own your confidence and value and check in and rebalance your humility, compassion, and desire to putting others above yourself. Realize growth in one area is positive and wonderful and gives us the chance to recalibrate and stay in balance. It’s a fascinating journey, and I am delighted to be sharing it with you!
Warmly,
Cassie